Reflection

Every now and then I would look back of what has happened in my life. When I was born I got a cut on my upper right forehead by the doctor. Later, I developed a ball in my cheek where it progressively grew until the age of one. At the age of five my parents had a divorce and was rejected by my own mother. My dad and my grandparents took care of me as I continue to be this sweet loving child. Weeks past my mother asked forgiveness and bribed me with a toy, but I did not accept her apology until later on. The next several years I saw my mother on the weekends and stayed with my father and grandparents on the weekdays. When I was the age of twelve my mother asked me to come with her to California and live with her, but my own father told me he would reject me if I so choose to go with her. At that age I thought critically of what kind of circumstances there would be in my life with my mother or being with my father. I decided to choose to stay and live with my father, because one I thought he would be a better parent figure, two I would rather stay here in AZ to be with my father side of the family as I know they love me dearly. After the past two years I received many packages,mail, and etc…from my mother until I was fourteen years old. I received a call on the month of December from my mother and said she was sick. Since then…I never got a call, mail, packages, email,visit, or anything for the next eight years. I have searched for her on the internet, old phone numbers, and asked friends of moms in Arizona, but no luck at all. As years went by I went to see a specialist and got my ball removed and never looked more handsome than ever. At the age of twenty I got a call from my mom asking me how I was doing and wanted me to visit her in Cali. In the summer of 2010 I visited her and restarted our relationship together as mother and son. Little did I know I discovered why my dad made negative comments about my mom and my grandparents. My mom told me she used my dad for his love to get to America and live the dream. When I heard that response I was very hurt and felt my heart was about to crumble. So…much has changed when I was a toddler and now I’m an adult who is able to understand better of my surroundings, behavior, and of what people value the most. I felt a old wound reopened as I weeped every few months at a time. Eight months later my mom rejected me again and still haven’t heard from her through phone, email, letters, packages, or anything as of today. For the longest time I was hurt, rejected, bitter, and heartbroken.

The Dream

I dream one day to have a loving family of my own who will teach the principles of how to follow Jesus. I will continually love my children and my future wife and make any sacrifices to keep us together. God has molded me to become a humble servant to love my family. God has commanded us men to lead a family.

Genesis 3:16 says, “After Adam and Eve had sinned, God appointed the husband as leader: “To the Woman He said: ‘I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.

I will be a loving husband as both of us desire and worship God as recognizing Him as our Lord and Savior. GOD IS OUR VICTORY!

Personal Growth

I thank God for giving me the tools to be able to serve through my own experiences that I’ve had in the past. I would of never been able to relate and witness to people about the tragic events of divorce. It literally breaks my heart when a kid at a young age goes through so much pain being tugged one arm to another. I pray for each kid I meet or see to be able to desire more on God’s love then just relying on parents love. I thank my mentors, friends, and my family on going along with me on this journey as I grow to be a man of God who strives to love JESUS and witness the GOSPEL to each person that I meet.

in Christ, Paul Sun :)